Stephanie Westerinen 2/15/21 Stephanie Westerinen 2/15/21

2021

Have you, like me, ever experienced how much easier it is to wash the dishes, sweep the floor, or clean the bathroom, at someone else’s house? It’s much easier than at my own house, where it is expected of me to do it.

There is a very interesting difference between choice and obligation. For some reason, the things we *choose* to do of our own accord, often are so much easier to do than those that we are *obligated* to do. My mom’s dishes are much easier to wash than my own. Some days, other people’s families are more fun to cook for than my own. I do believe that a big part of the reason why is how outwardly appreciative the other people are when you *choose* to do something for them that you didn’t have to do, which is a good reminder for us to remember to thank each other for everything we can.

For me, understanding choice and obligation, and the relative ease of answering the call of each, has helped me to understand a lot about myself and the people around me.

For some reason, many (maybe all?) of us have a preschooler inside of us, telling us that “You can’t make me do that!” in our own lives.

As a diabetic, I struggle with the idea, “Who is anyone to tell me that I can’t eat sugar/cookies/chocolate? I’m my own person!”

Diets? For many people, especially those of us who have that feisty inner preschooler, these are especially difficult, because “No one else can tell us what we can/can’t/should/shouldn’t eat!” We feel *obligated* to follow the meal plan. In my case, the more I try to diet, the worse I eat because of that rebellious streak. *BUT* if I work on adjusting my thinking that I am *choosing* to eat healthier, something I am doing for myself to feel better and preserve health, those food decisions become just a little bit easier.

There is a verse in our church hymnal that says this:

“With selfishness and hurry,

how blinded we become.

We scarcely even notice

our dear ones’ needs at home.”

Why is it that sometimes it’s easier to “be there” for our friends, neighbors, and acquaintances, than for our own families? It’s very difficult to admit the truth of this. But I believe it comes down, again, to *choice* and *obligation.*

For most of us, home is a safe place to vent, to relax, and to let our guard down. For some of us, when we are completely comfortable to “be our true selves,” our behavior can make us very difficult to be around. This is where it is very important for us to *choose* to love each other. Not because we are *obligated* because we are family, or share a household, but because we *choose* to show each other love and support.

The other side of that is to remember to tell each other how much we appreciate each other, and to be sure to express thanks whenever we can, perhaps ESPECIALLY to those with whom we closely share our lives.

LOVE, then, in this context, is an action word, where we make a conscious effort, again and again, moment by moment, day after day, to *choose* each other, in our friendships, marriages, and within our families.